An Open Letter to You

Friends,

Yesterday, one of my “friends” on Instagram decided, for reasons I do not know, to question my account’s authenticity. I had spent many days speaking with this woman. She messaged me almost daily asking for advice, telling me her story, and more. In turn, I told her my story and listened to her while she spoke. I felt bad for her. She seemed lonely and for whatever reason, I was the person she chose to speak to. I was never anything short of friendly towards her and I don’t know why she decided to “research my story.”

As with what happens when one looks at evidence after already determining the story, she proved her version of the truth. However, her version is not the truth. It is not even close. This is why they teach detectives to not write the narrative until they have all the facts. If you want to, you can make anyone look guilty.

She then took her story and began to share it with our mutual followers. I don’t know why she did all of this. I don’t know what I said or did that turned her against me, but for whatever reason, she began to try to dismantle my character and replace it with the character of a con artist.

I started this project as a way for me to be free with my emotions. I wanted the freedom of being who I haven’t been able to be for a very long time. I this as a place where I could be me, because my ex-wife hadn’t tainted it with her presence.

I didn’t know that I would meet so many amazing people who not only understood, but wanted to help me, and with that, my priorities changed. I realized that I could do more with this. I realized that I could be a light in a world that is very dark for a lot of people.

Now, I was still going to bitch and cry and laugh and do all that crap, but I was also going to try and be there for people going through divorce, as a way of honoring those who had been there for me.

This woman tried to take that from me. Why? I don’t know. The only reason we met, was because I was trying to help. The only reason she ever knew of me was because I was there for her when she needed someone.

Her actions really shook me up. This was supposed to be my happy place. This really was a place for me to be myself and this was a community that I was beginning to love. I was excited to truly be a part of a group of people that encouraged and loved me. I began to love them, in return.

I don’t know who will read this, if anyone, but I want to let you know that this hasn’t changed. I am not going anywhere. I have spent too much of my life being pushed around and beaten down. I will not let it happen again. I’m not inviting people to come after me. This is the internet and I am not stupid, but I am letting you know, that I will not back down. I will not change who I am ever again. You can try to tarnish my name and ruin me, but I will always rise up again and again.

I want to thank J for being there for me, especially that night. Life can be an incredibly lonely and scary place and you have opened my eyes to the fact that it can also be wonderful.

I also want to thank A for telling me about this situation and for always bringing a positive energy to our community.

Lastly, I want to thank all of you. You have all been an inspiration and I hope to be there for you as you have been for me.

In closing, I want all of you to know that I realize that like me, a lot of you are using this community as a place to vent without the prying eyes of your ex, or anyone else you know. This is supposed to be a safe place. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel unsafe here. If they do, talk to someone. Don’t hide. If you need this as much as I do, hiding will not do any good. You’ve lived your life in fear. Now is the time to be free. If you need someone to talk to, I will always be here.

-J